What is the cycle in a romance scam?

 What is the cycle in a romance scam?

from Sandy, SHU Admin

There are various stages of a “romance scam”. The steps are used as manipulation and/or social engineering tactics. 

 Baiting:

o By using stolen photos of attractive men or women, they are hoping that someone will take the bait. They will use the military, doctors, social media influencers, and various other types to come across as being trustworthy and/or eye catching. 

 They will send out friend requests, follow requests, and send out messages. They send out hundreds of requests, using the “spray and pray” method. 

 Love Bombing:

o Once they have a “client”, the love bombing starts.

 The scammer overwhelms the client, with attention, affection, and compliments, to create an emotional bond quickly.

 They may have you do a blood oath, so that you feel a bond with them. They will call dear, babe, my queen, my wife, etc.

 They do this in order to influence, manipulate, and take advantage of the “client”.

 Loneliness and desire for a relationship makes the client an easy target for a romance scam. 

 There is no love in a romance scam. 

 They take careful notes for each “targeted” question, so they can build the scam to you and your responses.

 They also start telling you about themselves, i.e., spouse died or stepped out on them with the best friend. They make is sound like they have no relatives in their lives, they are alone. So, you feel sorry for them. 

 They may ask for intimate photos, saying you are beautiful, and they love you. Please do not do this, it will be used against the client later.

 Devalue: 

o After gaining the trust of the “client”, the scammers may try to criticize, belittle, or distance themselves, causing confusion and insecurity.

It is a typical step that narcissists use. It is also ghosting the client. It is a step that is considered necessary, in order to psychological manipulation. It is a deliberate step, so when they do finally message the client, the client will be grateful and craving the attention. 

 Compliant/Compliancy

o After gaining the trust of the “client”, the scammers will then ask for smaller amounts of money, cards, or Bitcoin. They may have some type of emergency.

 They may start telling you about their business or where they work. 

 Maybe some type of equipment breaks down, on an oil rig or construction site, they will ask for money to help them replace the part that is needed or buy them out of their contract. 

 If they are military and they are deployed, and they may ask for money to pay for the nanny or boarding school for their children. 

Keep in mind that they will say their bank accounts are frozen and they do not have access to it. They will pay you back when they get back home.  They will use fake banking sites and give you the login information so you can see they have a lot of money in that bogus account.

 It is not only money they seek. There are other payment types they get. Information is money to them, or they may turn the client into a money mule.

 Discard:

o The scammer abruptly ends the relationship. 

 They will often have excuses, disappearing, or blaming the victim.

 This leaves the victim, hurt and craving closure.

 The victim is discarded when the scammer has no more use of them.

o Rinse and repeat:

 Rinse and repeat:

o IF the victim continues to engage, the scammer might return with apologies, promises, and renewed affection. 

 This will be when the scammers restart the cycle again.

This cycle manipulation the victim’s emotions.

Here is one of the sites that were used as a source of information.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-hacking/202112/i-love-you-now-pay-understanding-romance-scams

Also, please follow ScamHaters United on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.